I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
