She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
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Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
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When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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