Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
