I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
