very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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