hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
