There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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