It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
