Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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