Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
