# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
