so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Can Purell be used as lube?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
