D3 body, D1 cock
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
