'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
