all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
