I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
