thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
