I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
