they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
dude. I can hear the air.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
