This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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