We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize