I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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