I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
