i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
