Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
