i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
