Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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