I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
