You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
