If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's rum buckets o'clock
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
