We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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