Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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