Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
