So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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