party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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