Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He felt like a one man threesome
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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