and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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