During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize