One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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