i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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