fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
