i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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