Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
