you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Randomize
