So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
