I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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