I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
