dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
