He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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