Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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