It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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