I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize