Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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