Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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