Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
