ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
