You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
