I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
