dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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