sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
