My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Randomize
