Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
